Stay
by desteaell
Summary: Destiel! starts off in the laundromat, from the preview in s9. dean finds cas, angels find them, dean gets hurt. cas feels responsible. there's a lot of lust and a lot of angst. WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.
1. The Laundromat

Cas stepped into the dimly-lit laundromat and looked around at the empty place. He was acutely aware of everything going on around him - the cuts on his hand stinging, his head aching, his stomach growling. _'Food'_ he reminded himself. _'You need to eat now._' Ever since the fall, the fall that he and his loathsome trust of Metatron had caused, he needed human things. Sustenance, for one thing. He glanced around the bleak white walls and saw a vending machine, yet he made no advance towards it. The purr of the machines whirring coincided with his thoughts, every turn sounding the name that was too painful to think of. "Dean, Dean, Dean." How many times had he failed the hunter? And now his own species. Dean blamed himself for not saving everyone, yet Castiel blamed himself for the pain he caused everyone he tried to help.

He finally wandered over to one of the white washers, and pulled out a coin from his pocket. He was puzzled by the strange design on the front, but Cas knew better than to ask questions about trivial things. He felt the three othes jingle in his trenchcoat as he came to a halt in front of one of the machines. The ex-angel sighed as his stomach erupted once more and found himself thinking of Dean again. _Was Dean usually this hungry?_ No, he forced himself to believe. Maybe once, but not now. Not while Cas was here to protect him. Only Cas wasn't, because of the stupid mistake he had made. Still, he had to fix it. He had to find Dean. But how? His phone only glowed and made noises occasionally, he had no idea how to work it.

Exhausted, Castiel pushed the man out of his mind and turned it back to the problem he faced. His trenchcoat, the one Dean had spent time retrieving and washing and _caring _for was covered in blood and sweat - what a funny thing sweat was - and needed to be cleaned. People had recently asked him what was wrong when he wore it out, and he assumed that a washing machine was as good a thing to clean it as any. He slowly removed the trenchcoat and placed it inside the open hole, and continued by carefully unbuttoning his suit, trying to avoid the scrapes and gashes on his skin, and finished by sliding off the rest of his clothes until he was wearing nothing but a pair of white cotton boxers. He shivered - _since when do I get cold?_ He wondered, and placed his suit and boots he always wore inside the machine. He looked again at the vending area and knew that he couldn't afford it. He ha spent his quarters on the trenchcoat, the trenchcoat _Dean _had gotten for him. As Cas looked around, he found some sort of liquid in a bottle labeled 'detergent', and poured it into the machine before closing the door. As he did so, his phone rang. Cas felt something strange occur inside him, unlike the unpleasant feelings he had felt before. He knew his pulse was elevating as he flipped open the phone. It was obviously one of the Winchesters, only they knew his number. But he found himself wishing to hear Dean.

"Cas?" he heard Dean's gravely voice on the other end and answered as surely as he could.

"Dean. I need your help. I'm human. It's a 'long story' as you would say. Metatron tricked me and-"

"Yeah, Cas. I know. The angels fell." Dean responded, with a subtle hint of _something_ under his cool tone.

"You're angry with me. I understand, but I will fix this, Dean. I promise."

"Cas, no. Not angry, just worried. I thought since you were human, you could've been ki-" Cas heard the hunters' voice catch quickly, before recovering. "hurt. Hurt real bad. Leave this one to me and Sammy. Just tell us where you are and we'll pick you up." He hoped this was a good idea, although he knew this would put Sam & Dean in harm's way. He wanted to refuse, but the closer he was to Dean - what? The easier he'd be able to protect him? No, he simply needed to be close to Dean. He needed Dean.

Cas only responded "The laundromat."  
"What are you doing there, man?"  
"Washing my clothes."  
"Yeah, thanks. Einstein."  
"I don't understand. Einstein was considered a genius to many and my father's design for him was-"

"Castiel." Dean's voice wavered. "You okay?"

"Well, the liquid I put on my clothes smells like 'Rain Dew', and I have not eaten in a day. I am not exactly okay, but now that you're here..." he couldn't find a way to end his sentence.

"I'm here." was all Dean said before an awkward ensued. The tension between the line was almost audible . And then Sam was clearing his throat in the background before an exclamation "I got it!" was heard. Dean breathed out a sigh of relief before speaking again. "Sam put a GPS on your phone, in case you ever..." Dean's voice trailed off. "Anyway, we found your location. What the hell are you doing in California, man?" Cas was confused. He had already told Dean.

"Washing my clothes." he repeated, and he heard Dean chuckle on the other end.

"Alright Cas, we'll be there tomorrow around noon. Stay safe." The phone beeped once, and Dean was gone. All Cas could do was think. Stay safe? Was Dean worried about him too? He sat on the floor in front of the washing machine picturing all of God's creations in harmony - all he ever wanted - when the laundry stopped turning. He opened the circular glass door and removed his soggy clothes, and pulled them over his burnt black hair. Wet. Uncomfortable. Human things, still getting used to it. The strangest one was sleep. He had been hungry before, in his vessel, but tired was a new one. However, Cas knew he had nowhere to stay, so he balled up his wrinkly trenchcoat and used it as a pillow. It smelled like flowers, and rain. He thought of Dean as he drifted off to sleep.


	2. The Drive

Dean put his phone in his lap and ran his hand through his hair, thinking. Thinking about Cas. About what would happen if he saw Cas. _When_, he corrected himself. _When he saw Cas_. Would it be different now that he was human? Dean felt something closing in on him. No, it was still the same Cas. It had to be.

"So, California?" Dean's thoughts were interrupted by his brother. He nodded and went to get up. "Dean?" Sam asked. "What are you doing?"

Dean was confused. "We're going to get Castiel," he stated.

"We can't get him now, Dean. You know that. We have to finish hunting the vamps nest here. We'll drive down tomorrow." Dean shook his head.

"No, Sammy. I promised Cas I'd - we'd - be there tomorrow."

"Dean, we can't. I care about Cas, too, but we have responsibilites-"

"Sam. I'm going." And with that, Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and headed out the front door. All he could picture was Cas, Cas all alone, Cas being cut to pieces, the angels finding Cas and leaving him bloody - or worse. He couldn't allow himself to think like that. He waited in the car to see if Sam would show, but eventually he pulled out of the motel alone As he turned up the ACDC, Cas flooded his mind and Dean thought about calling him. About hearing his voice, about seeing those pure blue eyes. Surely nothing could have happened to him, in the minutes it had been. He wanted to call Cas all the same, but he refrained from doing so.

Banishing all thoughts of Cas from his mind, Dean went into auto pilot, and just drove. He stopped along the way and grabbed a couple of burgers, as well as some food for Cas. _He'll be needing it now. He hadn't eaten since yesterday_. Dean knew what it felt like to be hungry, and bought extra provisions. He was worried about Cas, about what his angel had done in the last few days since the falling.

As Dean stared down the road, he noticed the streets had gone black. He needed somewhere to sleep. However, he couldn't help doing something he was ashamed to admit to anyone but his angel - he started praying. Every night. Not to God, to Cas. He prayed that Cas was safe, that Sam would get better, that Bobby was in Heaven. He prayed his family would be safe.

The hunter stopped in a sketchy hotel in Sacremento, a couple hours away from where he thought the laundromat was, and got his 4 hours. As he drifted off to sleep, he dreamed of Cas.


End file.
